Saturday, July 09, 2005

Mariner Mortality

No, this won't be about how bad the Mariners suck. It should be, but I don't know jack about baseball discourse.

One the way to meeting a dear friend of mine for drinks last week, I was trying hard to imagine what it would be like if I had two weeks to live. No, it’s not that I’m looking for a clearly defined future (although that would be nice), but while browsing another blog, postsecret, I discovered a visual that rocked my world. Basically, postsecret is a place that people can send their creative confessions to- in the form of a postcard. The postcards range from witty to hilarious to painfully pathetic to just plain honest. Like most of the postcards on the blog, the one that caught my attention used the visual medium to heighten the message. It’s a picture of someone holding a piece of glass, blue sky illuminates the background. On the glass, in black ink, it reads:

“Pssst, here’s a secret… Your last mortal thought will be, “why did I take so many days— just like today—for granted?”

Okay, we all have this thought at some point (right?) Or, at least, we all try to live up to the ideal that we should live like today is our last day. But, what does that mean exactly? How do you do that when you’ve got bills to pay and jobs to find, life insurance to research and buy, and grades due? How do you actually immerse yourself in such a mindset, figure out what those two weeks would be, and then blend it into “real life” without neglecting the responsibility of life? Every now and then I try to imagine that I’ve been given two weeks to live – or one week—or two days—whatever so that I can live in the present. I visualize getting the call, the moments after, and then what I would do that day and the next. Yet, I can’t imagine it.

I drove by Safeco Field on my way to Queen Anne. The lights were on and I could see the screen lit up with the players’ names. Nostalgia (that pesky, touchy-feeling emotion I try to avoid) overwhelmed me. Safeco has always been the one place where time stands still, where I could leave everything that needed to be done, needed to be thought through, needed to be obsessed over, near the big glove in front of the home plate entrance. (Even if Fenway Park could do the same, I heard tickets are tough to come by). Then, of course, I stared getting misty over everything from my view on HWY99- the port and her ancient, yet majestic container loaders, the piers, the buildings of Seattle, the Western Ave exit… It was pitiful.

Listening to one of my favorite DM tracks, “Insight,” I realized that in a way, a part of us is dying. We are leaving Seattle and the life that is here. That is a kind of death. Boston is a kind of rebirth, no? So, instead of being sad about leaving Safeco, I embraced all that is good about the ballpark and attending Mariners’ games. I realized that I could take it with me. And, in the meantime, I have the opportunity to imprint my senses with “this” life. So, here’s how I’m going to spend the next six or so weeks:

Visit the Seattle Aquarium & Zoo
Go to the Point Defiance zoo with April, Daisy, & Lily (yeah, love the zoos)
Buy Flowers at Pike Place
Hang out at Alki at least twice
View Seattle from The Smith Tower (cheaper alternative to the Space Needle).

This is just a preliminarly list. Please let me know if you have any other ideas!


1 comment:

  1. Anonymous6:51 AM

    I love you & Ed & Jack !! MOM