It's Ed's turn this month to be in the Northwest. His brother, Steve, is getting married-actually *just* said his vows about an hour ago. Ed's probably about to give his best man speech -- I wonder if he drank a few rum and cokes to ease into the speech-making (like the three gin and tonics I drank before my speech at Nicole's wedding earlier this month). At any rate, I hope Steve, his new bride, Leslie, and my tried-and-true groom, are currently enjoying some good food and good tunes.
My day was eventful, but not like a wedding. Jack wore underwear ALL DAY (I say again: no diapers) and masterfully held both Pee and Poop pretty much all day (I capitalize those words because of their pronoun status in the household today). Other than an accident (pee) outside, he managed to sit on the pot a total of about 10 times and let all but a few drops out. Amazing. I think the diaper I put on him for bed is chock full. He told me right after an overtired tantrum, and right before crashing, that tomorrow he wanted to wear his diaper again. I went online and took some quiz and realized that the kid probably isn't quite ready yet. Our landlords hosted a "cook out" (that's Hub slang for "BBQ") and Jack and I, in good crashing form, joined them. I made mental note that returning to the Northwest means having BBQs with family and friends, rather than dropping in on the nearest family gathering to suck whatever laid back family love and vibes we are missing, particulalry when most of Ed's family is celebrating the ultimate cookout at Steve and Leslie's wedding.
Speaking of marriages, which, are honestly, as far from a wedding in definition that you can get (besides maybe potty-training of course), I haven't worn my wedding ring in a few weeks. I've never had it off this long and even the indendation of 10+ years of wear is barely recognizable. Our wedding vows are still in tact and the marriage still strong, but after reading a link to an article from one of my new favorite blogs, Shesabetty.com, I looked down at the ring that I've never liked (the engagement part is fine- it's the band, which took all of about 30 seconds to agree to when designing with a Tacoma jewelwer because I had much more interesting things to do like read Willa Cather and Virginia Woolf for my senior seminar classes) and realized I wasn't going to wear something that represented many more shameful ideals than those to hold in esteem. The top of which is not the branding element (or the blatantly pornographic sexual representation, both which are bad enough), but the fact that I just don't like the thing. So, I'm now on the look out for a new wedding band; something inexpensive but local (wherever local may be) and one that I'm hoping Ed & I can find together. It might take years to find, which is quite fine; I don't know any marriage that was held together by a symbol. Besides, I always felt like I was wearing the ring for other people- and people I didn't know. Because, if you know me or Ed, you know we're married. So, really, the ring was to let people who meant nothing to me know that I was a spouse. Which, seems quite pessimistic, if you think about it. Funny, though, that I still want one. I might be a hypocrite. Or, just a slave to blind culture. One seems to be the definition of the other.
God, I hope Ed's speech wasn't anything like my ramblings here. I'm pee-pee weary. And, ready to shed my early-20s notion of marriage with the one I'm coming to know in my 30s. Which is indefineable --or in the least needs a new symbol. A more honest, hard-earned, soil rich one.