Sunday, June 05, 2005

Waiting

I drove home last night from my parents writing an imaginary letter to the guy in Boston who is deciding our fate. Ed spend last weekend writing an essay about teaching and sent it off to the person who is filling the last few available fellowship spots at BU. If Ed does get the fellowship, he gets a chunck of change subtracted from his tuition, thus allowing him to afford the school. He would basically be a TA for some education courses (I think) - and be working about 20 hours a week in the education department, where, I'm hoping, he'll learn to transfer what he liked about teaching into his (sports) counseling pscyhology program. If he doesn't get the fellowship, it is on to plan B.

My mom asked me what plan B is. Plan B became my imaginary letter to Mr. Jump through these hoops man. (We've heard many versions of "you'll get the fellowship" or "there's scholarships- you'll see" or "no problem," but are now wondering the validity of such assurances). I want to write him and remind him that we are essentially waiting to hear in order to secure a place to live, movers, and for me to clinch a job (yeah, waiting to start a new life- no big deal). Most of this would probably involve another trip to Boston, an expensive trip that I'd just assume make when we know for sure that we can afford the school. And though we are waiting quietly, we are waiting desperately--pretty much trying not to think that our fate rests on this one decision. But, it does. I think that's why I get so frustrated- sometimes these academic folk forget (or relish) how much power they hold over others' lives. And, the unspoken rule is that everyday, emotional life holds little sway in acadamia. That kind of pathos is frowned upon. Damn ivory tower.

Anyway, Ed's in Las Vegas with some friends, working hard to not think about all of this (what a distraction!) and I'm here in Seattle trying to hang out with my family as much as possible. Oh, and catch up on those essays that need grading (compassionately).

-Laura

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:10 AM

    So now I'm trying this blogging thing, but if it is a way to stay up to date with what is happening in your life, so be it. I'm getting too old for all of this new stuff. If you get to Boston I still would love to come out and visit you, as I mentioned at Aunt Dale's shower. It isn't as far as NZ (which we plan to get to early next year after Uncle Paul retires) Waiting, I think is one of the harder things expected of us in life. Waiting..... Love, Aunt Janice

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  2. Anonymous1:33 AM

    Lara, Ashley and I move to Australia with only $1200.00, with faith in Jesus (though I wasn't to sure of who He was, yet). we are in full faith and prayers for you to have all you dream of, in Jesus' name, amen.

    So in this we give you Laura, Ed and Jack our prayer for your future. God bless you all and remember:
    Proverbs 16:3
    Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.


    We love you all,
    Bryan Lara and Ashley


    Psalm 91
    1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
    will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

    2 This I declare of the LORD:
    He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
    he is my God, and I am trusting him.

    3 For he will rescue you from every trap
    and protect you from the fatal plague.

    4 He will shield you with his wings.
    He will shelter you with his feathers.
    His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

    5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
    nor fear the dangers of the day,

    6 nor dread the plague that stalks in darkness,
    nor the disaster that strikes at midday.

    7 Though a thousand fall at your side,
    though ten thousand are dying around you,
    these evils will not touch you.

    8 But you will see it with your eyes;
    you will see how the wicked are punished.

    9 If you make the LORD your refuge,
    if you make the Most High your shelter,

    10 no evil will conquer you;
    no plague will come near your dwelling.

    11 For he orders his angels
    to protect you wherever you go.

    12 They will hold you with their hands
    to keep you from striking your foot on a stone.

    13 You will trample down lions and poisonous snakes;
    you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

    14 The LORD says, "I will rescue those who love me.
    I will protect those who trust in my name.

    15 When they call on me, I will answer;
    I will be with them in trouble.
    I will rescue them and honor them.

    16 I will satisfy them with a long life
    and give them my salvation."

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  3. Have you heard from anyone in Boston yet? We are waiting to hear from you as soon as you find out -- You know we are anxiously wating... and praying for your news to be good news... soon!

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