Friday, May 23, 2008

Almost started a new blog, but starting over can be a bitch.

At some point in my life (grad school? moving to Boston? new job?) I was in a constant frantic state of unease. It wasn't pleasant. In the midst of the unease I must have said or done something which made Ed turn to me with the kind of distant compassion you only see in movies that are meant to inspire Buddha and said, "Laura, you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable."

It was an ephiphany. The ephiphany pissed me off. I hated that it made sense. Being comfortable with being uncomfortable seemed to have a kind of permance to it--that somehow, if I just accepted my insecurity and incertainty that I would simultaneously find some security and certainty. Ugh.

Lately, I've been working hard at trying to figure out how to make permanent, positive changes in my life. Ed & I have created a few goals for ourselves (the biggest include paying off debts and saving for a downpayment on a house) and I have attempted--in short stints--to make other changes.


For a while, at least, the posts on this blog will attempt to articulate what it means to change, how change does (and doesn't happen) and even work through why we feel the need for change. I guess I'm hoping to record as much of the process as possible so it gets easier.

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